(no subject)

[luckylove]

Dear Scottish Gas,
For the umteemth time, Miss J M Clinton DOES NOT live at 2/2. I think she lives at 2/4. Please stop sending her gas and electric bills to 2/2. I was kind enough to redeliver the first two. I even wrote on them to point out the mistake and give her a chance to correct it. Since she hasn't or you've failed to do this, I've been returning them to sender with a message saying that she doesn't live at 2/2 and why don't you try 2/4. In the past two days I've three letters for her from yourselves. Piss Off. She doesn't live here. She's never lived here. This property is supplied by Scottish POWER and I have the bills to prove it. Any further communication to her will either be given to my hamster for shredding or put in my to do pile which means it may take 18 months for me to do anything with it.
Now fuck off and leave me in peace.
No love,
Lauren
p.s. No I can't talk to her. Our last interaction involved the police at 4am warning her to turn the bloody volume or risk an ASBO. Because of this I'm reluctant to have any further contact with her.


I've actually written something similar to this on the envelope that I shall be returning to them. I'm tempted to put the three items into another envelope and include this letter and post it to their undeliverable address without postage. Not My Problem.

Dear friends list,
Why do several different items for several different people in my stair all come to 2/2? For once it's NOT Royal Mail's fault. Items from the Dogs Trust for Miss C H in 2/7 with the address 2/2. Items from Carphone Warehouse, for a Mr F, who I think lives in 2/5, come with the address 2/2. Items for a Mr D, actual address unknown, also come addressed to 2/2. What the fuck is going on? If it weren't for the fact that I know three of the four people actually live in this stair I'd be inclined to think there was some sort of fraud going on.

Comments

[rasilon-x.livejournal.com]

I suspect someone has a database and some stupid software that assumes all addresses are in the database, when yours is the only flat it has at number 2.

[mirukux.livejournal.com]

an idea might be to put a brief note on the door to the mail person? i've currently got one on mine saying that i don't need menus for x, y and z, and it seems to have worked so far. if any thing comes through, i'm sure gonna give their boss a visit to get them in trouble. maybe a similar clear and direct message would give you more leverage to complain directly to the mail person's manager if they're too stupid to comply?

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

Royal Mail have to deliver mail to the address on the envelope. I have a sign on my door saying no menus, flyers, leaflets etc or I'll complain to their employers. It doesn't work so I have fun repeatedly phoning takeaway places and giving them grief about employing illiterate idiots.

[mirukux.livejournal.com]

aah, ouch. what do the bosses say? do you often get menus from the same take away through the door?

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

I ask that they employ people who can read and tell them to respect other peoples' wishes. They demand my address. I say, "Yeah, right. So you can put dog shit through my letterbox. I don't think so. Employ people who can read and tell them to respect signs on doors." They usually hang up on me so I call them back to reiterate.

[fenland.livejournal.com]

It may be that the postie is dyslexic... 2/5 & 2/7 can and do look similar to 2/2...

[luckylove.livejournal.com]

No. The address on all of these envelopes is 2/2. Different names but always 2/2.