Till the sound of my voice will haunt you . . .

VISTA IS A PILE OF STINKING SHIT!

I'm trying to do some important updates on a friend's laptop. He kept getting 'critical' messages and asked me to sort it. He's a bit clueless when it comes to computers so hadn't done any updates.

Windows Vista Home Premium - Service Pack 1
Update KB955020 - failed. Repeatedly. Error code 80073712 or 8024200D.

Yes I know what this "Important" update actually is. It's a fucking dictionary update or some such nonsense. I've tried just about every fix out there with the exception of reinstalling Vista as Phil can't find the fucking disc or product key.

Any suggestions?